Being + Abiding

One of my goals for 2017 is to put limits on my phone and social media usage.

I’ve done this before and I know how cleansing it can be.

I’m thinking I’ll allow myself to check my phone in the morning and at night, but not in the middle of the day, when I should be spending time with my kids.

And I need to take a serious break from Instagram.

Again.

It’s so easy to overdo it.

But even more than that, it’s easy to forget to just be.

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When I feel anxious, tired, busy, stressed, frazzled, and run ragged, it helps to remember that I have more space than I think I do.

I just filled in all those spaces with technology and stimulation. I forgot how to just be.

I focused too much on being “productive” every moment.

As if praying, meditating, breathing, dwelling, and abiding aren’t a thing.

It’s no wonder I’m such a mess.

I’m all screens and no soul.

I’m productivity without authenticity.

I’m “connected” yet incredibly alone.

I’m distracted from what really matters,

Trying to juggle all the unimportant things.

They can wait.

I can be unreachable sometimes.

I can be unproductive sometimes.

I used to just sit.

I used to just think.

I used to just play for hours, letting my imagination run wild.

I used to tell stories.

I used to pretend.

Then I grew up.

Got busy.

Got Facebook.

Now I’m less wrapped up in make-believe, more wrapped up in what people think.

I’m addicted to the screen, like a slot machine.

The average American adult checks their phone every five minutes.

What happened?

My eyes burn when I spend too many hours at the screen,

But that doesn’t mean stopping is easy.

If I’m bored, I wonder what I’m missing.

If I’m happy, then I want to share it.

If I’m lonely, I feel that it will fill the void.

But it never does.

It’s candy with no substance.

Addictive, sweet, void of nutrition.

It doesn’t fill me up, it burns me out.

It’s time to kick the habit.

Time to remember how to sit still.

Time to re-learn the art of doing nothing.

I’ve completely forgotten.

I’ll still write.

I’ll still create.

It’s a huge part of who I am.

My hope is that I’ll be so engrossed in creating that my consumption will decrease.

I’m not required to post weekly.

I’m not required to share everything.

I’m not required to respond to every comment.

I’ll be out there living.

I make no apologies.

Another one of my goals is to read more books this year.

I might re-read Reclaiming Conversation just for the heck of it.

How do you make time to just be? Any practical ideas I can implement this year as I take on this challenge? Let me know if you’d like to join in – for a week, for a month, or for a whole year. I don’t expect perfection -from myself or from anyone else- but I think making an intentional commitment to try harder will be extremely beneficial. I’d love to know your thoughts!

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2 Comments

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  1. I stumbled across your blog via the Frugalwoods, and I’m so glad I did! I’ve been having a wonderful time reading about your monthly challenges, and on this particular topic I can so relate. I’m a stay at home mother and I find that when it comes to social media, I really have no control over myself. It is so terribly easy to just log into Instagram and Facebook and have it suck up an hour of my time. For me, it’s incredibly addicting, and I also find that I am less content with my own life. Suddenly my clothes, home, and body all need improvement. For the month of December I deactivated my Facebook and logged out of Instagram. It has been absolutely wonderful, and I am debating whether or not to return. I have used my time wisely, nurtured friendships face to face, and I’ve had “extra” time to just read, sit, or open up my bible. I do adore photography, which is why Instagram is such a pull for me—but I think I could do without Facebook forever. I do the same thing you suggested–I check email in the morning and at night, and for now that has been enough for me. I think I will always be trying to find a healthy balance in this area. Thank you so much for this post, it was a delight to read this morning!

    • So great to meet you! Thanks for reading and journeying alongside me! I feel the exact same way about Instagram. I love photos and love gaining inspiration from them, but it doesn’t take long before I stumble upon a page of someone I don’t even know who makes me feel inadequate. And half of Instagram is an ad these days….we’re all “selling” something, whether it’s a brand, a shop, a gym, or a lifestyle. I’ve been taking a holiday break and enjoying it! It’s all about finding a healthy balance, like you said. Best wishes on finding and maintaining that balance!

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