When I posted Shiloh’s birth story earlier this week, I wasn’t expecting so many views and feedback. Thank you! To date it’s my second-most-popular post. (Here’s my most popular post if you’re curious.)
“All that matters is a healthy baby.” This phrase is repeated so often it has almost become a cliché. New mothers hear it over and over, usually the moment they begin to open up and say that having their baby was difficult or even traumatic. Sometimes they even find they are saying it themselves: “Giving birth was awful, but at least I got my healthy baby, that’s all that matters.”
Yes, a healthy baby is the most important thing by far. BUT, Millie says, it is not the only thing that matters.
Women matter too. When we tell women that a healthy baby is all that matters we often silence them. We say, or at least we very strongly imply, that their feelings do not matter, and that even though the birth may have left them feeling hurt, shocked or even violated, they should not complain because their baby is healthy and this is the only important thing.
So now that I’ve shared my story with all of you, I’d like to take it a step further. I’m opening up an invitation to all mothers who’d like to share their stories with me.
Maybe you had an empowering birth, or a disappointing birth.
Maybe you had a hospital birth, or a home birth, or a car birth.
Maybe you gave birth yesterday, or maybe it was 20 years ago.
Maybe you got your healthy baby, or maybe you had a stillbirth that not everyone knows about.
I’m here to listen. I’m here to laugh and cry with you. (Literally, I have all the hormones right now.)
You can post links to blogs you’ve already published. Or you can message me on Facebook. Or you can email me right here:
I won’t share anything without your permission. I really just want to open up a conversation where your story can be heard.
I’m all ears.