8 weeks into having this child, I finally feel kind of comfortable.
Like this is normal.
Like I’m getting the hang of it.
Truthfully, I started feeling like I was getting the hang of it a couple of weeks ago. Malachi was starting to outgrow some of his fussiness and learning to smile and enjoy life. I had a glass a iced tea and was lying out in the sun. Malachi was next to me lounging in the shade in his bouncy chair.
While soaking in the perfect sun, I soaked in the beautiful moment. I dwelt on the fact that I was happy, and able to relax and enjoy life. This little man wasn’t hindering me, but enjoying life alongside me.
As the weeks have passed, Malachi has made some fun transformations.
When he’s not hungry or overly sleepy, Malachi is happy.
He’s happy to be held or to sit on his own.
He smiles when we talk to him, or when he sees a face he recognizes.
He talks back in his own baby language, with cute gurgles and noises.
He’s starting to go much longer stretches without nursing (3 hours, opposed to every hour!)
He is learning how to play and interact with his toys.
He is sleeping well at night in his swing – yesterday he went 5.5 hours without waking!
I am getting more and more comfortable taking him places too. I have a whole list of places I still want to take him. “Stay at home mom” are words that will never describe me very well. Even though I am home with him during the day, and I hope to never enroll him in daycare, “staying home” is rough for me. I’m a social person and need interaction beyond the phone and internet. If it’s a nice day, and even if it’s not, you can bet I’ll be out exploring, exercising, or shopping! Those first 6 weeks of “resting” were rough on me, but that’s a story for another day.
Of course, right when you feel like you’re starting to get the hang of something, it will change. There are big changes ahead. The main one is that I’m returning to work in July. I’m so excited for this! I love my job and my coworkers and my work environment. However, I’m already starting to count down our weekends as a family before I return and will have to ask off for weekends.
I’m trying to savor the moment.
Trying to enjoy the rest I’m getting, because I’m sure the initial fatigue of work will hit me hard.
Trying to get my body into shape again – although, let’s face it: it won’t be as hard as working while pregnant!
So yeah, I’m thrilled to report to any new moms out there that it does get easier!
A LOT easier!
Malachi is still far from independent, but he’s learning new skills as am I.
The more time I spend with my son, the more I learn about his likes and dislikes and this also helps make it easier.
I know when he’s hungry, when he needs to nap, when his tummy hurts, and I know how to fix it.
I no longer feel like I have to rush or worry when I leave him with Josh or grandma. I still feel a huge connection to him – as in, I miss him after only a few hours…but that’s natural. I WANT to miss my son when we’re apart!
I’m also learning how to trust my developing “mommy instincts.” It’s hard because sometimes I know what’s best for Malachi, and he doesn’t agree. Anything that causes him minor discomfort, even if it’s for the best, is hard because I can’t make him understand.
Like learning to sleep in the swing instead of my arms.
Like going to the doctor.
Like getting shots!
These things break my heart, but I know what will have a long-term benefit.
How often are we like Malachi when it comes to trusting God! We don’t see the positive outcome so we cry and cry. What we don’t realize is that our heavenly Father knows what we need, and He’s suffering like a parent along with us! His heart breaks for us!
God, help us to be obedient children who trust your plan, who trust your timing!
Remind us that you see the big picture, and we just see a glimpse of it.
Remind us that you are loving and faithful.
For the LORD disciplines those he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights. -Proverbs 3:12