Through My Lens

May serving become as natural to you as breathing, that you don’t even need to think about it. -Kyle R.

I’ve realized several things this week, like how often I take simple things for granted…things like unlimited clean water, shelter from the rain, and bathrooms with toilet paper.
Community is also something I overlook more than I should. Most people in New York City seem very disconnected from one another. In a city so huge and so diverse, you would think this was unavoidable. The majority of people are friendly if you talk to them, but they sit on subways and streets with somber faces, clutching their belongings close, and listening to iPods. They look weary and disconnected from those around them.
And yet they are beautiful.
They are glamorous.
They are dirty.
They are human.
They are loved.
As different and as segregated as the bouroughs are, the subways are as diverse as it gets. There is no dress code. There are no minorities. Being crammed on a crowded subway with so many styles, so many languages, and so many ethicities was eye opening and beautiful to me.
The greatest sense of community that I got was at a prayer service we attended at Brooklyn Tabernacle. Hundreds of us gathered together and openly worshiped and prayed to our heavenly father. The people there were warm and genuine, and several of them came to our row and prayed for us, even though they didn’t know who we were or where we were from. It was a fantastic community. They didn’t discriminate or make me feel uncomfortable, yet the pastor didn’t sugarcoat the message. He spoke about rest, and what it means to allow God to move through us in order to accomplish more through him. It challenged me to make more of an effort in my daily life to rest in God’s strength. Right now I’m working seven days a week and I’m almost always tired to some degree. I plan to lighten my schedule when the summer ends, but until my commitments are fulfilled, I intend to take time each day to rest in God and allow him to renew my strength so that I may serve him better.
There was also a moment in the church service where the pastor showed a video from a missions group their church had recently sent to serve in Haiti. It was simple, but truthful. The video showed the needs of a family there, and how the church group had worked to build a church for them. All I could think of was how beautiful the work they did was, and how it was exactly the kind of video I could have made. I realized that the desires God gave me to worship him through video, service projects, and travel could be interconnected. That maybe just part of his plan for me was to go to those places and document what was there, to show people here the truth and encourage them that even the smallest things make a difference.
I also learned this week that in order to serve others, you must start with those close to you. I want to start serving my family and friends better, and then pass it on to the community. This is hard for me, because I tend to think only about the big-picture. But sometimes all you have to do is start it.
This week one of my favorite jobs was painting a mural on a gym wall for a VBS in Queens. I was into it. I felt like I was doing something big. However, we had to leave after only an hour and a half of painting. It felt like we had just started, and gotten nothing done. It was hard for me to leave the project unfinished. But I know that in a week or two another group of volunteers will pick up where we left off, and the project will be one step closer to completion. So even though it doesn’t feel like I’m doing much, even now, I realized that I’m part of something bigger. The body of Christ isn’t about me doing everything and getting all the glory. It’s about me putting in my best efforts, fully relying on the other parts to do the same, and trusting God for the fruit.
So in the end it doesn’t really matter what I do, but how much love I put into it. I pray the Lord would continue to mold my heart and my desires, and use me however He sees fit.

On the way to New York City for a missions trip. We’re not even there yet and i’ve already realized some things I need to focus on.

We live in a consumerist culture.
We’ve become desensitized to the needs of the world, and preoccupied with our own petty desires.
We are so wary of scams and people taking our money, that we stop giving altogether, turning away those who are truly in need.
I don’t want to hoard what I have, living in fear of scams and those who would take advantage of me.
I would rather have nothing, than to live in fear of losing everything.
Here in the US, we dont know what true suffering is.
We barely realize how much we have. We can’t even imagine a life without the luxuries we’ve come to expect.
We say we want change and social justice, yet we’re unwilling to act on these convictions because it means surrendering what we’ve worked so hard for.
So the question is, who am I serving?
I’m guilty of serving only myself.
I’m guity of thinking I deserve things I have been freely given.
I’m guilty of false humility and I’m guilty of giving with the wrong intentions.
Dying to myself means surrendering all I have to the Lord of my life.
I need to put my faith into action by giving more, and trusting that He will provide.
I need to do more about the poverty that I see around me, and hold nothing back.
I look at the early church and how they shared everything they had. In Acts the Bible says that there were no needy people among them; that they all had everything they needed.
I think we’ve grown comfortable with a culture that is obsessed with money and greed, even in the church.
We give if there’s something we can get out of it. A good feeling. A tax deduction. We give out of guilt, not with cheerfulness and rejoicing that we’re helping build the Kingdom of heaven.
This is something I need to change. I want to live in such a way that my Heavenly Father will be glorified in all I do. If I truly believe that my treasure is in heaven, and that my needs here on earth are few, I shouldn’t hold onto it so tightly.
If my actions don’t match my beliefs, than I am nothing but a hypocrite.

Father, I pray that you would forgive my selfishness.
I beg you to accept my gifts, take them and use them for your kingdom.
Kill my inner selfishness. My desires. My hidden motives. Help me live generously. Show me ways in which I can help and serve and truly give of myself.
I trust you to take care of me in the future, just like you have taken care of me all along.
I believe that I have been lavishly blessed with more than enough to meet my needs.
I fully desire to live a life of service to you.
A life that is simple.
A life that is uncluttered.
A life that breathes for you, where you are the only reward that I’m striving for.